macro
- hosting a half-hour mindfulness/journaling session
- joining the intention setting call with the accountability group I co-run
- Week 13 — All focus on getting everything tied up with a neat bow before going away. Overall feeling: pressure.
- Week 14 — 10 days away visiting family and friends, and exploring cities and countryside throughout England and Wales. Overall feeling: joy.
- Week 15 — Back to work trying to pick up where I left off and get used to being back inside for the majority of the day. Overall feeling: acceptance.
Ocean's Eight, 2018 - ★★
I’d been waiting to see this for so long. Perhaps I built my expectations up too much. So very disappointing.
Paddington, 2014 - ★★★★
Finally got round to watching this and it was everything I expected/hoped it would be. Perfect holiday film.
David Byrne's American Utopia, 2020 - ★★★★
I had no idea what to expect from this… and I loved it! We watched it as part of our virtual weekend away to NYC during lockdown.
Weeknote 20/22
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it in a weeknote before but I start each week with two regular Monday morning commitments:
Having these two sessions to draw my focus in helps to ease me into the working week.
What else happened this week?
😵 My brain was AWOL on Monday after two days of pretty intense peopling and travel for the conference the week before. I spent the day on easy admin to give myself time to process and recover.
🌊 I took Tuesday off to spend the day with my wife. We went up to Howick Hall in Northumberland and walked a loop to take us out to the coast. I remembered my binoculars; we saw a stonechat, a flight of swallows, cuddy ducks and a heron fishing in the sea
🏑 After our day out I attended my hockey club’s AGM. We agreed a new committee structure, elected officers (I’ll be co-captaining the 2nd team next season), and had a discussion about a variety of options for a new home for the club in the near future.
🎯 I returned to work on Wednesday full of enthusiasm and focus. Both Wednesday and Thursday were super productive. I wrote daily to do lists on my desk pad and just did one thing after the other. For the first time in a while it felt easy.
🗃️ The working week ended with more admin; getting everything set up for the next month’s accountability group, sending an update to participants on my group coaching pilot, updating finances and catching up on emails.
🤸 I spent Wednesday evening on my first GoodGym Group Run. I chose to run to the meet, as well as run with the group to our task location. The task involved helping Ouseburn Trust volunteers to clear a flight of steps leading from Lime Street to St Ann’s. We finished the evening with a four-station circuit session.
🌻 On Saturday I helped a friend in her garden. My job was to dig up a field of dandelions to prepare the grass for reseeding. I was paid in quiche, cake and an endless flow of tea.
🍻 After my day of manual labour I met my wife from work and we did a test run for her 50th birthday celebrations. We needed to test out a local pub to make sure it was right for a large group.
⚽ I rounded off the week following the final day of the Premier League. I wasn’t invested in any particular outcome but still found it emotionally exhausting!
Invincibility
The weekly question in the freelancer community I belong to was: What gives you confidence?
My response surprised me…
My confidence is definitely lowest if I spend too much time alone, so getting out and talking to people is a real booster. I also look back to the point in my life where the rug was pulled from under me and when I remember how far I’ve come since then it makes me feel invincible.
Weeknote 19/22
Late again but I’m happy with my reasons… Last week I attended a 2-day conference (Friday/Saturday). It was my first in person experience for around 3 years and I’ve needed a faffing day and a full day off to recover. So I’m just starting my working week proper today (Wednesday).
☎️ Had a catch up call (refreshingly over the phone, not video) with a colleague about sponsorship and bursaries to support making coaching accessible to everyone who wants it not just those who can pay.
🛋️ Visited a new co-working space for a tour to see if it could work for me. I’m interested in how they’re approaching building a community rather than just renting space… but I’m not so sure about the physical environment of the office itself. I’ll need to trial it to know for sure.
💡 Met with another freelancers to share our Notion setups and swap ideas. Got some tweaks to make to my ‘Control Deck’ and weekly overview template.
💻 Hosted my usual mid-week co-working session for the accountability group.
✍️ Other work this week consisted of a lot of writing, including a longer than usual blog post about my new group coaching programme and the article edition of my fortnightly newsletter.
📚 Finished reading Spring Cannot Be Cancelled. It’s had a huge impact on me and I keep referring to it in conversation. Need to write-up those thoughts before they leave me!
🩳 Major breakthrough in mindset around wearing shorts to ‘professional’ events. I wear shorts fairly constantly for around 8 months of the year (usually between the clocks changing) but have had a mental block around wearing them to meetings and events. I realised this week that if I were a person who wears skirts it would never cross my mind not to wear one on these occasions, so why worry about rocking up in shorts?!
☕ Attended the International Association of Facilitators (England & Wales branch) conference in Birmingham; a hybrid conference with options to join in person or via Zoom. Attendance was roughly 50/50. What I really valued from the in person side was those chance conversations over coffee. It was also great to be off screen for two full days — I didn’t even take any notes! I’m still processing everything that happened and a full write-up is coming soon. And yes, I did wear shorts!
🌳 Stayed with friends while at the conference and enjoyed the down time. Also caught up with other friends locally on the Sunday for a walk in the woods before traveling home.
⚽ Played my second free hit (and final chip) in the penultimate gameweek of Fantasy Premier League. It could be worse, it could be better. And there’s still half the matches to be played. But let’s just say I should have trusted my gut!
Weeknote 18/22
Here’s my first attempt at getting back into the habit of posting my weeknote on a Sunday evening…
🌳 There was a Bank Holiday in the UK on Monday so we packed up our lunch and headed out into Northumberland for a walk. After a pretty meh weekend it was just what we needed.
🌟 When back to work, I made another big decision… this time to postpone the start of my group coaching pilot so I have more time to fill all the available seats.
📋 I’ve made a plan (and started acting on it!) for the next couple of weeks in terms of what I need to do to get my coaching pilot ready to run.
🍅 I did lots of virtual co-working and pomodoros to keep me focused on things I didn’t want to do and/or was struggling to start.
✍️ Had a great catch up with fellow hosts of our mindfulness community to talk about plans for the next few months including adding more sessions and organising a summer social.
🐕 On Wednesday I had another day dog-sitting Aggie which included lots of sleep and two lovely walks with playtime in the park.
🧈 On Friday morning I joined the IAF Wales meetup to demo Butter, as an alternative to Zoom.
🚮 I joined my first GoodGym community mission. We did a litter pick on the Quayside.
🌇 As the days get longer, Izzy and I have started heading out for an evening walk around the park in the last of the light around 9PM. On our first outing we spotted a couple of bats out hunting.
🌤️ It’s been a lovely weekend weather wise and I took advantage of this for a long walk on Saturday afternoon, run Sunday morning and a couple of hours working in the yard in the afternoon.
🎨 My personal goal for May is to fill a sketchbook. I’m learning to draw the birds, and other cool things, I see on my walks and need to get some practice in.
Weeknote 17/22
How late is too late to post a weeknote? Here’s last week’s…
🚆 I started my working week taking my first three calls sitting at my Dad’s desk, then caught the train home. I usually try to postpone work if I’m traveling but this worked out OK.
⚖️ On Tuesday I attended a webinar about the legal documents I need for my business. It was a surprisingly good refresher and I came away with a list of actions to review and refresh what I already have in place.
⏪ Reversed a decision to keep a new group coaching programme under wraps until I was ready to launch properly. It’s now out in the world and I’ll be starting the pilot in June.
✅ Caught up with my co-host for the accountability groups to review where we’re going over the next few months. Participant numbers have been increasing over the last couple of months so we had some practical stuff to review. And we agreed that neither of us have the capacity at the moment to look for new communities we could collaborate with.
🤑 Started setting up new bookkeeping software.
🎱 Watched a lot of snooker and rugby.
🍿 Started rewatching The Matrix series and spent the whole of the first film wondering whether we had Internet at home when it was originally released.
🐶 We had a third member of the household for a week while we looked after a friend’s dog. She made herself right at home, turned heads in the park, and got me stopped on the doorstep by a stranger enquiring after our new family member.
Weeknote 16/22
I’m a little out of the habit writing these weeknotes having been on holiday and then seemingly incapable of dedicating time to them in the week before or after. I’ll summarise the lost weeks here instead:
So what of this week?
🗨️ This week’s journaling prompts have been a selection of quotes. I’ve been writing up my responses on Fragmented Thoughts.
💻 A former colleague recently got in touch to see if I still take on freelance content work and this week we spoke to agree what that would look like.
✍️ I also got to the final stage in the onboarding process for some associate work I’m doing as an essay marker for a coaching qualification.
📋 My other main work time this week has been spent on content and marketing for a new group coaching programme I’ve put together which starts next month.
💭 And I’ve been doing some thinking about how all the pieces of my offer fit together and where there might be gaps to fill.
🌳 I’ve been making some tweaks to my daily routines, all of which so far I’ve felt the benefit of: drinking more water, creating more regular opportunities for fresh air and exercise and reducing time spent on email and social media.
🚆 Got the train home to visit my parents for the weekend. It was busy yet everyone was in good humour. A lot of groups heading to Wembley for the boxing.
🌹 Dad and I went back to Welford Road for the first time in about 20 years (we used to have season tickets there for Leicester Tigers when I was a teenager). We watched our first live Red Roses match. England only really got up to speed in the second half, scoring 9 of their 11 tries at the end opposite to where we were sitting. Nevertheless it was an enjoyable day out in the sunshine and good to see them play live.
It is your life - but only if you choose to make it so
Today’s quote for reflection is taken from Eleanor Roosevelt’s book You Learn by Living.
It is your life — but only if you choose to make it so.
This quote feels particularly pertinent this week as I try to make choices — especially in work — that have me swimming against the stream.
It’s so very easy to get drawn along in the flow with everyone else and not realise that there’s another way, a choice to be made to do something different. Something that sits more comfortably with who you are and what you want to achieve.
The first step, of course, is noticing. Noticing that something isn’t right, that your needs aren’t being met, that you’re struggling or frustrated, and that something needs to change. And with that comes the realisation that you do indeed have a choice about what happens next. That you can break free from expectation and first make, then walk, your own path.
That metaphor of the path is something I’ve used before and have returned to recently. I used it to help me in the early days of starting my current freelance career. The path is mine to build, brick by brick. It will meander and possibly need to divert to avoid an obstacle in the way but overall it’s headed in the direction I choose.
I have a reminder of this on my house keys. A single yellow Lego brick reminds me I choose where and when the next brick is laid.
Tags: #quotes #reflection #journaling #EleanorRoosevelt
It is our expectations that define what will anger us
Today’s quote for reflection is taken from a lecture by Alain de Botton (it’s another one I was directed to from Dense Discovery #181).
It is our expectations that define what will anger us.
I really relate to this quote as I recognise that when I most often get angry it’s because I’ve set unrealistic expectations for myself or others. I’m also very aware that in those cases where I have expectations of someone else often I’ve failed to communicate them clearly or at all. It’s in the gap that anger festers.
I write this in the full knowledge that I have a history with anger and how I respond to it. I have spent a lot of time working on this relationship and I know giving it my attention has paid off. I feel different and see that my behaviour has changed. I knew this quote was coming up as today’s prompt and so I asked my partner whether she had observed the same and I’m pleased to say she verified it.
In fact, I can’t actually recall the last time I was angry had an angry outburst. I changed what I wrote there because it isn’t that I don’t still get angry (although it’s also happening less) but what’s changed is how often I act out as a result of that feeling.
Returning to an earlier thought, I feel a lot of my anger is bound up in non- or mis-communication on my part. Through bottling up my feelings and not letting the people close to me know what I needed from them and then consequently feeling frustrated and angry when my expectations weren’t met. Things changed when I started talking with those close to me about how I am feeling and allowing myself to be vulnerable. They’ve changed even more since I started a more regular dialogue with myself through journaling.
Another thing to explore further is this distinction between the feeling of anger itself and the response to it or behaviours that result from it. It’s natural to feel angry sometimes, what happens next is the important bit.
What’s changed for me is that I’m getting better at noticing when I feel angry. Spotting it before it has a chance to fester and cloud my judgment… and then pausing before I act. That pause gives me space to choose what happens next. Happily, more often than not these days that choice is to let go.
Tags: #quotes #anger #choice #behaviour #reflection #journaling
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
I’m a member of a community who meet for daily mindfulness and journaling sessions. I host one session every week too and in this capacity it’s also my responsibility to contribute to the prompt schedule. This week we’re using quotes as prompts for our reflections. Writing in response to these quotes is something I had planned to do personally, to breathe life into this blog, and I decided to share them with the group too.
Today’s quote is…
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. — Lao Tzu
When I first came across this quote (in Dense Discovery #181) I felt a response to it physically. A jolt. A lightning bolt. As I repeated it again and again in my head trying to distil its essence, and its lesson, I settled on the line that things will happen when the time is right.
I think the reason these words stopped me in my tracks is because I know I have a tendency to want to be further ahead with things than I am. When I set my mind on doing something, I feel a pull, an urgency and I want it to be done… yesterday.
What is the rush? Where are the benefits of hurrying to get things done? What can be gained from slowing down and paying attention to the process?
The longer I sit with this quote, the more layers emerge. In this morning’s session I was thinking about the various cycles in nature. Sunrise and sunset. The tides. The seasons. Migration. Metamorphosis. They happen without fail. Again and again. There’s no rush. No fuss. And yet again I came back to thinking about the routines in my own life. How they help me stay calm and balanced. How they help me to slow down.
I’ve got far more to explore on this topic than I have time for today. And so I’m taking a lesson from Lao Tzu. I’ll not hurry it. I’ll sit awhile longer and ponder it. And come back another day.
Tags: #quotes #journaling #nature
Weeknote 12/22
📋 We’re running an open week for our accountability group in the last week of March, so I spent some time setting up and planning sessions for that. We’ve doubled the number of participants, and added a couple of bonus sessions, so it requires a little more logistical effort than usual.
❓ I attended a Q&A about business insurance. Sounds dull but was actually super helpful (and not at all dry) thanks to the enthusiasm of the speaker.
👣 I also attended an onboarding session for an associate role I’m taking on through Barefoot Coaching. It was both helpful to walk through the various processes and good to meet my fellow associates.
💬 On Thursday evening, I ran my first Sobremesa Session where we explored the topic of compassion. Overall I was pleased with how it went and got some great feedback. There are a couple of tweaks to make for next time but nothing major.
📢 This week’s newsletter was about community. It clearly struck a chord as a few people immediately shared it with their networks. That was a nice reminder that if you write something that resonates other people will shout about it for you.
📖 During this week’s daily mindfulness sessions our prompts have all been about habits. Instead of journaling in response to these, I’ve chosen to start building a habit of 30 minutes non-fiction reading. It helped me to finally start reading Spring Cannot be Cancelled.
🍾 On Friday night we had our first takeaway in a while. And for no reason other than we wanted to, we shared a bottle of champagne with our fish and chip supper.
🏑 Saturday saw the last hockey match of the season. We made hard work of it during the first half which ended 1-1. Thankfully we found our stride for the second half and scored a further three goals with no reply; two of which are contenders for goal of the season.
⚽ To take advantage of the last of the sunshine before the weather turns we got the Metro up to near the airport to watch Newcastle United Women play Bradford City. Not the finest defensive performance from either team, it was 1-1 at half time. A penalty resulting from a foul by the last defender (who also received a red card) sealed the win for Newcastle, though they really should have had more after a couple of goal-line scrambles.
Weeknote 11/22
⚡ I spent a good chunk of my working time this week preparing for an event series I’m trialling. The first session is next week and I’m just ironing out the details ahead of that.
✉️ I delayed sending my newsletter and decided to switch to a new schedule of two emails per month. As work is getting busier I’ve noticed the quality diminishing as I try to keep up with the weekly schedule.
💰 Ahead of switching the structure of my business from a limited company to sole trader I’ve done a cashflow forecast and a load more financial admin.
📢 I’ve made the effort to continue consistent work on marketing. This has started with some thinking around what I’m trying to achieve and the different strategies that will get me there in a way that feels natural to me.
🔁 For a while I’ve been throwing ideas around with a colleague about how we can make our accountability groups a sustainable part of our businesses. This week I’ve been exploring memberships as a way of doing this.
✍️ Another decision, related to my goal of building a more consistent (non-work-related) writing habit is to restart the 100 days to offload challenge. I’ll post to my write.as blog a couple of time a week from the beginning of April.
🏑 Two big wins (and bonus clean sheets) for my hockey team this week. Mid-week we won 2-0 against a team who are right on our tail in the league. Then on Saturday we beat the team at the bottom of the table 5-0. The points and improved goal difference helped us leapfrog the team above us.
☀️ It’s really starting to feel like Spring. We’ve had sunshine all week, the daffs are blooming and I wore shorts all week (much to the consternation of some of my fellow freelance friends)!
🏰 I started reading Titus Alone and tried to explain the bonkers world of Gormenghast to some friends.
🗡️ And I binged season 3 of Killing Eve after realising I hadn’t seen it yet. I gave up after S2 which was more than a little ridiculous. Thankfully S3 gets back to basics.
Weeknote 10/22
🏃 Started the week running a sub 35-minute 5k. This is an achievement on two fronts 1) I’ve not run this far all year 2) I rarely run faster than 7 minutes per km (on average).
💻 Monday to Wednesday afternoons I attended virtual co-working sessions (one of which I hosted). I find these really helpful when I’ve got more routine tasks to work on as they both help me to focus on one thing at a time, and also give me a chance to chat during the breaks.
🐠 Over the past month or two we’ve been making plans to run an open week to share what goes on in our accountability group. We made the event live this week.
📝 I’ve created a more detailed outline for my first group coaching programme and have a couple of people signed up for a pilot to start in May.
📢 I made progress on the one area of the business that I really drag my feet over: marketing. This includes blocking time for it each week on my calendar and a list of tasks I can turn to to minimise decision making.
📰 This week’s newsletter was all about defining progress.
⏱️ I did an experiment tracking how I spend my time over a week, mostly out of curiosity and to see if there are any patterns or areas I want to change. To do this I assigned each 30 minute block to one of six broad categories: work, rest, exercise, morning routine, nourishment and other. My initial observations show that I’m pretty consistent every day of the week and I have no problems with prioritising rest! Next, I may take one of the categories and break it down to record more detailed level of activity.
🎳 Went bowling with my hockey team and then was encouraged to continue the fun with a few beers in town. Unexpectedly stayed out until 2AM… and then discovered after only 5 hours sleep why I don’t do that more often!
🏑 We managed to hold off the team at the top of the league for about 60 minutes before the deadlock was broken. The attack did their best to claw one back but the game ended in a 1-0 loss. There are definite positives to take away even though we might feel disappointed with the result. Just three matches left of the season.
🎆 Ended the week attending the festival finale of North of the Tyne Under the Stars. The projections were mixed but it was worth it just to see the Zoetrope on the Civic Centre (pictured below)
Weeknote 09/22
🤹 This week I’ve been working on four main projects and felt like I took significant steps forward in each of them. I generally find that having more to do makes me more efficient, plus there’s the benefit of being able to switch project when I’m bored/stuck/need some variety.
📆 I shared the details of an event I want to trial and got some immediate registrations. Although I was a little disappointed that there was zero response from one community I shared it with. There’s a lesson in that at least.
💰 I talked to a couple of new accountants about some upcoming changes to my business model and how they can support me.
💬 Conversations continued to get feedback on a new group coaching programme I’m working on. I’ve got enough to revise the offer ready to re-test with a wider audience.
📢 I joined a small group of fellow freelancers to chat about our approaches to and challenges with marketing. I came away with a load of ideas for how to make marketing work for me. And by that I mean make it something I actually do rather than indefinitely put off!
⏳ I’ve accepted that I only ever work a half-day on Friday. I’m actively trying not to become the freelancer in this web comic.
🏃 Pleased that I broadly kept to my exercise plan, including hockey training in the torrential rain on Wednesday. It was a small session but sometimes they’re the most fun.
🏑 We got a good result from Saturday’s hockey match. Another 0—0 draw with a local university team, that included surviving a penalty corner in the final seconds of the match. Oh and I was voted joint player of the match!
🥞 I hadn’t planned to have pancakes on Shrove Tuesday. As it also fell on St David’s Day I decided to make Welsh Cakes instead.
🐦 My dusk walks continued, and included a longer one on Sunday evening. On the home stretch I spotted a treecreeper.
Weeknote 08/22
Rounding off the month with what was for me a really good week both personally and professionally.
🗓️ I ran the Feb/March monthly planning session on Monday. Each time I’m gradually refining my process and I’ve got an idea how to adapt my Notion setup to better link daily-weekly-monthly reviews together.
💫 The big thing work-wise this week was moving two future projects forward; one event and one group coaching programme. I’ve started conversations to get feedback on my initial ideas and am ready to open one up for bookings so I can run a pilots in March and April.
🧠 I met with the fellow directors of the company I work through and we’ve made some major decisions for how we’re going to do business in the future.
🍃 I helped to rebrand the community mindfulness group I’m part of. We’ve recently transitioned from being under the umbrella of a startup to be independent and community run, so a new identity was needed.
💰 I attended the IAF Northern Meetup on the theme of selling facilitation. It was a fun and informative session as always.
📶 We had wobbly Internet for a couple of days at the end of the week (possibly result of the weather, possibly people digging up fibre cables). It was frustrating but thankfully seems to have stabilised.
🌇 I shifted my daily walk to dusk. I witnessed more bird activity, as they settle down for the night, and some beautiful sunsets.
📺 I watched less TV than normal which meant more time for cooking, reading, playing board games, and conversation.
🏑 We tried a new formation at hockey. It’ll be a good move in the long-run but on this occasion we were out-played and lost 2-1.
🍻 Post-hockey, my wife (who was at work) asked what I had planned. My response: “Two rugby matches, a sausage roll and a beer (or two)”. We agreed this was my perfect afternoon.
🍗 And the week rounded off with a trip up the coast to visit a friend in her new home. We went for a walk in the woods nearby and to the local pub for Sunday lunch.
Photo of the week: Sunday night’s sunset
